1) The duck turned out fantastic and tasted wonderful!

2) I can introduce you to a FANTASTIC food blog that has helped me through a few new experiences in cooking.  Say hello to The Hungry Mouse.  It’s a fantastic food blog with gorgeous pictures and wonderful tutorials.

I knew that roasting a duck would be different from roasting a chicken.  I thank my lucky stars for having already known that.  I’ve heard horror stories of greasy meat, rubbery skin, and way too much fat remaining on the bird.  Because of this, I hit Google and The Hungry Mouse was the #1 response I got.  It’s always nice to see a familiar place when asking a question on Google.

Here is the tutorial on how to roast a duck, or rather, the BEST way to roast a duck.  Yes, it’s time consuming, but WORTH it.  My little duck turned out perfect and I have enough duck fat rendered out to make hash browns on the morning of the 26th.

And boy, am I looking forward to that.

Seriously, if you’re considering roasting a duck, CONSULT THAT LINK!  I cannot stress that enough.  That blogger knows her stuff.

If you’ll remember (HA!  I know better…) back in August I made Chicken L’Orange and expressed my desire to make Orange Duck, or Duck L’Orange for the fancy-pants out there.  Again, if you’ll remember (I keep writing that, but seriously, I know better) I overpaid for a smoked duck last year for the Five Days and was unimpressed.  I knew I wanted to try making a duck all on my own and Orange Duck just sounds so fantastic to me.

It was easier than I thought.

I used the exact same recipe that I used for the Chicken L’Orange except I didn’t stuff the duck with anything (it has to cook for over 4 hours!) but the glaze and sauce were the same.  To make your life easier, I am more than happy to provide a simplified version of the recipe so that you may also someday make homemade Orange Duck.

Orange Glaze/Sauce for Duck or Chicken

Simplified by Me

4 oranges

1 sprig tarragon

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

2 cups chicken stock

4 peppercorns

1 Tblsp. cornstarch

Peel 1 orange and cut peel in thin strips.  Set aside peel.  Juice all four oranges and add juice to discarded peel.

Dissolve sugar in the vinegar in a sauce pan over medium heat.  Simmer for 5 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Add chicken stock, tarragon, peppercorns and salt to taste.

Add orange juice and orange peel.

Baste the bird during the last half hour of cooking twice in 15-minute intervals.  (Consult the Hungry Mouse on how to cook the duck!)

Dissolve cornstarch in a small amount of water and add to glaze.  When thick, pour into serving bowl and serve with the duck.  (You could, and should, strain the sauce before adding the cornstarch, but I couldn’t be bothered with it and it was fine.  The world didn’t blow up.)

Sweet orange-y duck awaits your pleasure.

Once upon a time I took more pictures of the product.  I photographed the before, during, and after.  I’m sorry the quality of the photography has been so poor, but I am going to plead the two small children under school age thing.  I have a 1 year-old who screams at me from a high chair and a 4 year-old who screams at me from my elbow…..pictures aren’t my #1 concern most days.  I’ll get back to it someday.  Just be patient.

I promised yesterday that I would share a recipe for an Orange Martini.  I hate to think that I made the drink to go with the duck so that everything could me matchy-matchy.  That was not the thought process at ALL. The thought process was more like,

“The juicer is out and I have just enough oranges to make a cocktail!  WOOO!”

Simple as that.

And an Orange Martini is yummy.  It’s weird that I like it considering that I find Screwdrivers (Vodka+Orange Juice) to be repugnant reincarnations of stomach acid.

Orange Martini

Who Needs Credit?  It’s a DRINK!

1 oz. vodka

1/2 oz. Triple Sec

2 oz. orange juice (fresh squeezed really is best here or the acid will probably cause painful and horrible death.)  (Just kidding about the death thing.)  (No I’m not.)

Shake with ice and serve over ice.  There’s nothing worse than warm orange juice, let alone a cocktail containing orange juice.

I know martinis are usually served in those angular stemmed glasses.  And I have those glasses and find them to be very posh, but OH MY GOD they are annoying to drink from some days.  Rock glasses work just fine.  I’m not breaking any rules by doing this, and if I am, it’s a stupid rule!

I hope that you notice in that picture that the drink, adorable vintage juicer, and cocktail shaker are sitting on a plywood surface.  This is because we are doing a total kitchen renovation and have been since about July.  It’s a long and terrible process and only crazy people would do this all on their own.  It just so happens that I’m crazy, so if you should notice my kitchen looking rather destroyed in some pictures, it is because of the renovation.

Tomorrow we eat a ham dinner with my mother and Day Five will be on Christmas Day.  You’re probably going to just have to suffer through a bunch of pictures of my husband and children in their pajamas because on Christmas, we have the same breakfast and dinner every year.

Happy Holidays and I hope that you’re enjoying some lovely food of your own!

Related posts:

1. The 5 Days of Decadence: Day 1
2. Five Days of Decadence: Day Three
3. Five Days of Decadence 2011: Day Two

It sounds all super fancy because the name is French.  It’s not.  It’s chicken braised in red wine.  Whoop-dee-doo!  I braise pork chops like nobody’s business over here, there’s nothing fancy about it!

But is it delicious and heart-warming and decadent all the same?

Yes.  Yes it is.

And it’s not at all pricey to make.  I use reasonably priced wine, chicken isn’t exactly a high-priced food item, and the vegetables are your standard onions and carrots with a bit of mushrooms added in.

Of course, I used Ina Garten’s recipe for this.  I am attracted to Ina’s style of cooking and technique because she takes a “it’s no big deal” approach to cooking types of food that some people might find daunting or intimidating upon a first contemplation.  But when someone offers to help by teaching you or giving you a recipe and are very relaxed and not at all uptight about it, the learning process is much easier without all of the anxiety.  Ina is great with that mentality.

For your pleasure, here is the recipe!

Coq Au Vin

2007, Ina Garten

2 Tblsp. good olive oil

4 oz. good bacon or pancetta, diced

1 (3-4 lb.) chicken, cut in 8ths

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

½ lb. carrots, cut diagonally in 1-inch pieces

1 yellow onion, sliced

1 tsp. chopped garlic

¼ cup Cognac or good brandy

½ bottle (375 ml) good dry red wine such as Burgundy

1 cup good chicken stock, preferably homemade

10 fresh thyme sprigs

2 Tblsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature, divided

1-1/2 Tblsp. AP flour

½ lb. frozen small whole onions

½ lb. cremini mushrooms, stems removed and thickly sliced

Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.  Heat the olive oil in a large dutch oven.  Add the bacon and cook over medium heat for 8-10 minutes, until lightly browned.  Remove the bacon to a plate with a  slotted spoon.  Meanwhile, lay the chicken out on paper towels and pat dry.  Liberally sprinkle the chicken on both sides with salt and pepper.  When the bacon is removed, brown the chicken pieces in batches in a single layer for about 5 minutes, turning to brown evenly.  Remove the chicken to the plate with the bacon and continue to brown until all the chicken is done.  Set aside.

Add the carrots, onions, 2 tsp. salt, and 1 tsp. pepper to the pan and cook over medium heat for 10-12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the onions are lightly browned.  Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minute.  Add the Cognac and put the bacon, chicken, and any juices that collected on the plate into the pot.  Add the wine, chicken stock, and thyme and bring to a simmer.  Cover the pot with a tight fitting lid and place in the oven for 30-40 minutes, until the chicken is just not pink.  Remove from the oven and place on top of the stove.

Mash 1 Tblsp. of butter and the flour together and stir into the stew.  Add frozen onions.  In a medium sauté pan, add the remaining 1 Tblsp. of butter and cook the mushrooms over medium-low heat for 5-10 minutes, until browned.  Add to stew.  Bring the stew to a simmer and cook for another 10 minutes.  Season to taste.  Serve hot.  YIELD:  3 servings.

Ok, so I did a couple of things different.  Yes, I used bacon.  I NEVER have pancetta on hand at my house, but I always have bacon.  Just simple smoked bacon (NOT maple flavored) does the job just fine.

I also used frozen chicken thighs for the meat instead of a whole chicken cut up.  As long as the meat has bone and skin, it’s going to work JUST fine.

I NEVER have brandy of cognac in my house.  I would never use it except for small splashes in dishes I rarely cook.  I’ve found that a good substitute is sweet mash Kentucky bourbon.  It’s not the same, but in the small amount this recipe calls for, it works FINE.

Cremini mushrooms are so delicious.  They are delicious in this dish.  White button mushrooms are also wonderful in this dish and cost a lot less.  There’s no need to spend a lot of money on a back-up flavor in this dish.

This is not a thick dish at all.  You can either serve it like a stew and serve bread as a side (the broth is HEAVENLY), or you can serve it over rice or egg noodles.  I prefer the egg noodle bed, but it’s all good.

Might I recommend that you end this dinner with a fat slice of Candy Cane Cake?

Tomorrow is the appetizer dinner.  Maybe I will serve it late, after my children have gone to bed.  I think that might be nice.  And, I promise it will be prettier this year than it was last year (can you say “embarrassed part-time food blogger posts major food kludge for shits and giggles only to deeply regret it!”)

Happy Holidays everyone!

Related posts:

1. Five Days of Christmas 2011: Day One
2. 5 Days of Decadence: Day 5…Sort Of…..
3. The 5 Days of Decadence: Day 1

It was brought to my attention that I might like a Bouillabaisse.  It’s a Provençal fish stew.  Since it’s beginnings look humble enough and French peasant food has yet to let me down, I decided to make my own bastardized version from easy to find fish here in any supermarket.  It was easy to make and it smelled really good considering it’s all fish.  So I must amend my previous statement and say that I like white fish battered and fried AS WELL AS having it in a French-ish stew.

Fish Stew

My Recipe

3 Tblsp. extra virgin olive oil

2 shallots, minced

4 cloves of garlic, minced

2 cups white wine

3 cups stock (fish or chicken of even vegetable would all work fine)

2 cans tomato sauce

1 can sliced stewed tomatoes

zest of 1 lemon

salt and pepper to taste

dry red pepper flakes

6-8 cups diced fish of your choice.  I used whiting, flounder, salmon and shrimp.

Heat olive oil in large pot.  Add shallots and cook until soft.  Add garlic.  Cook for 1 minute then add wine.  Add stock and tomato sauce and sliced tomatoes.  Add lemon zest, salt and pepper and dry red pepper flakes.  Heat on low to slow simmer and cook for 10 minutes to allow flavors to mingle.  Start adding fish starting with the most dense and ending with the quickest to cook.  Serve as soon as the last bit of fish has cooked.  YIELD:  8-10 servings.

Surprisingly, next to the flavors of the fish, the broth had an almost delicate flavor that was quite pleasing.  It also helped that I was very careful not to overcook the fish.  Overcooked fish is a terrible, terrible thing.

It’s amazing how just all of these ingredients could make fish edible to me.  My husband LOVED the stew and even ate it as leftovers until it was gone.  I have a small box of saffron that I was going to use in this stew.  It was actually the main reason for the stew but I chickened out at the last minute.  I’ve never cooked with saffron before and I was afraid that the flowery taste might compete too much with the other flavors in the broth.  That is by no means an educated reason for no adding it.  As I said, I chickened out and will continue to hoard my precious box of saffron until the right recipe comes along.

Here is the fish ready to go into the stew.  I added the salmon first.  Next came the whiting and then the flounder.  The very last thing to go in was the shrimp which was already cooked.  It simply had to heat through.  The salmon and whiting had the skins on them and I happen to think that fish skin is delightful, but you can certainly shave them off if you are squeamish about it.

To be totally honest with you, I might have had a moment or two during the eating of this stew where I had had enough of the fish.  Luckily I had some crusty bread and could use it to soak up the broth in my bowl.  That broth is wonderful.  Simply wonderful.

If you are picky about fish but are open to trying it prepared in different ways, give this a try.  If the fish still icks you out, the broth will still make you happy.

Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Beef Stew: The Perfect Cold Weather Warmer
2. Fish Pouches
3. 5 Days of Decadence: Day 5…Sort Of…..

Most people.

There are people who are not all that impressed with this surge of interest in food and new tastes.  These people like a few recipes and a few types of food and are not really all that interested in trying foods from other cultures.  They don’t want to try any food that they view as “weird.”

These people run the gamut of all walks of life, age, and gender.  However, I have noticed quite a few more of these types of people are men.  It is only for this slightly larger number that I call these people Martians (because Men are from Mars!)

My main inspirations for the Cooking for Martians idea are my father, my brother and my brother in-law*.  These are guys’ guys.  They like steak, beer, sports and hunting.  When I think of rigid unadventurous eaters, their faces float in my head.  I used to be a little annoyed with them for not even wanting to be adventurous eaters, but as I get older and my own stubbornness has become my greatest virtue, I smile when I think about it.

I know what these guys like to eat.  I know what foods make them happy.  Down home rib-sticking food.  The kind of food they were fed as children.  Simple.

There are many foods already on this site that are Martian-friendly.  Some my own recipes, some not.  Because I come from a place where Martians are quite prevalent, I am most comfortable coming up with recipes that are Martian-friendly.  That is something I have noticed about the recipes that are my own creation.  I may not be gourmet, but I sure as heck am Martian-friendly!

I’d like to now dazzle you with a simple but very wonderful down-home dish that’s sure to please most Martians.  Ham and Grits with Red-Eye Gravy.

Red-eye gravy is a thin gravy that is made with black coffee.  It goes perfectly with fried up ham steaks and is a Southern must-have.

Red-Eye Gravy

My Recipe

4 Tblsp. butter

3 Tblsp. flour

4 cups black coffee

2 tsp. soy sauce

1 tsp. black pepper

Melt butter in skillet.  Stir in flour and cook for 1 minute.  Add in coffee and soy sauce.  Add black pepper. Cook, stirring constantly until gravy thickens slightly.  Serve.

Not all red-eye gravy recipes call for a thickener, but I rather like mine to have just a little bit of thickness to it.  Otherwise it’s just salted coffee and while that is good for some, I don’t like it.

I serve cheese grits as a side.  Grits are super easy to make are are very similar to Italian polenta.  You can make it cheesy, herbed or just creamy.  Very simply to make, just like the gravy.

Cheese Grits

My Recipe

3 cups chicken stock

1-1/2 cups white self-rising cornmeal

salt and pepper to taste

1 cup grated aged cheddar cheese

1/2 cup milk or half and half to finish

Heat chicken stock to almost boiling in saucepan.  Slowly whisk in cornmeal and whisk until thick.  Add in salt and pepper.  Whisk in cheese.  Finish with milk and serve.  EASY!

This is really good and since I used chicken stock, it’s very rich.  The richness goes nicely with the salty gravy and the ham steaks.

Also, remember that the red-eye gravy, while delicious, it is strong and needs to be taken lightly.  Just a dab will do on your ham.  Just a dab.

I hope this is enjoyed by not only the Martians out there, but by all.

*Look, I know that not every “martian” is a man’s man like my inspirations.  They are just my personal best example.  No offense need be taken with this.

Related posts:

1. Be A Cooking Samaritan
2. 5 Days of Decadence: Day 2

Every Christmas morning, I make a stuffed pesto torta for breakfast.  The recipe is listed as an appetizer in my cookbook, but it makes a wonderful and well-rounded breakfast for a couple of exhausted parents with an insanely hyper toddler freaking the hell out over his Christmas presents.  Now, I won’t be providing a recipe for it…not this year at least.  It’s from that famous cookbook that I’ve linked to several times this holiday season.  All I’m going to say is that this torta has sausage, pesto, tomatoes, and lots of gooey cheese topped with puff pastry.  It’s DELICIOUS and, well, my husband and I each ate two servings of it on Christmas morning and just weren’t very hungry by the time dinner time came around.

I make it more like a layered casserole than a torta.  It’s still delicious.

We decided to save our wonderful lamb dinner for the next day, which was a good decision since we decided to brave the enormous day-after crowds to go and spend some of our gift money.  It was a long day and it was wonderful to go home and relax with some lamb chops, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.

When it comes to lamb, I am a big believer that you shouldn’t overdo it.  Lamb itself is a very flavorful meat and it just doesn’t help things to add a crap load of toppings or jellies (side note to that…I don’t care how traditional mint jelly is with lamb…it is GROSS!).  I’ve tried a recipe or two for different cuts of lamb that include all sorts of different ingredients and flavors and I have just come to the conclusion that less is more with lamb.  It’s like with a good steak.  I want to taste the meat, not the accoutrements.

I think garlic and rosemary are the absolute perfect flavoring for lamb, unless it is prepared Indian style.  I also like my lamb just a touch saltier than I would normally prepare any other meat (I don’t use a lot of salt in my cooking, so my saying that I like lamb a bit saltier doesn’t necessarily mean I’m salting the ever loving Christ out of it).  I’m going to show you what I did to the lamb.  It’s not really a recipe.  It’s just a simple preparation.

I like to score the fat on lamb.  This is mostly so that the flavoring can better penetrate to the meat.  Lamb, being from a young animal, is already very tender and fatty.  It’s sticky and wonderful.

1 Tablespoon of Kosher salt and 5 cloves of garlic.  Ok, you can absolutely do this with the flat end of a knife or in a food processor.  I just decided to entertain myself by going medieval on this paste by doing it in my mortar and pestle.  The salt is a terrific abrasive and with enough mashing, the garlic turns into a wonderful paste.

After the garlic is smooshed all to hell, add 1 teaspoon dried rosemary (2 teaspoons if you’re using fresh) and enough extra virgin olive oil to make the paste spreadable.

Smear onto the lamb and bake on a foil lined cookie sheet in a 350 degree F oven for 45 minutes for medium.  Easy, easy lemon squeezy.  It was a ridiculously easy dish served on my everyday dinnerware.  The sides were simply mashed potatoes and that oh-so traditional green bean casserole so many of us have around the holidays.  It was delicious, but my favorite part of it was that it was totally unpretentious.  We left the dinner table that night licking the sticky fat from our lips and patting our full tummies in pure satisfaction.

This is posted late because I have been enjoying the last bit of this holiday season with my family.  Playing with new toys with my son, snuggling my new baby, and cuddling under fuzzy blankets with my husband.  I hope this holiday season was enjoyable for all of you and that the new year brings you all many blessings and much happiness.

Thank you all so much for your comments and friendship.  Live and eat well, my friends.

Related posts:

1. 5 Days of Decadence: Day 2
2. The 5 Days of Decadence: Day 1
3. 5 Days of Decadence: Day 3

The first fudge that I made is fudge in name only.  It’s really melted chocolate and condensed milk with peanut butter swirled through it.  It’s entirely too soft and doesn’t set up into anything more substantial than goo.  This is the fault of the recipe, not me.  It’s good…smooth and melt-in-your-mouth, it’s just not really fudge.  Here’s the recipe.

Easy Chocolate Peanut Butter Fudge

Kraft

1 package (8 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate (this recipe calls for a name brand [I HATE THAT] chocolate, but you can use 1 oz. blocks of chips.  Doesn’t matter.)

1 can (14 oz.) sweet condensed milk

2 tsp. vanilla

1/2 cup peanut butter

Line 8-inch square pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over the sides.

Microwave chocolate and milk in bowl on high for 2-3 minutes or until chocolate is almost melted, stirring after 2 minutes.  Stir until chocolate is melted, using pot holders on hot bowl.  Blend in vanilla.  Drop peanut butter by tsp. over fudge after you spread chocolate into pan.  Cut through peanut butter with a knife several times for marble effect.  If you want it to be cut into squares, freeze it.

That one was done and in the freezer in no time.  It was the next batch of fudge that caused me the most trouble and the near-heart attack.  REAL fudge requires a bit of candy making.  You have to melt down some sugar and cook it until it reaches a “soft ball” stage which is achieved when the sugar reaches about 235 degrees F or thereabouts.  I had my candy thermometer ready and was itching to have my first go at it.

I wish I had a mentor who could have warned me.  I wish some of the articles I read online had the warning that I needed.  When the sugar comes to a boil, it foams up…..a lot.  If the pan you are using looks big enough, think again.  You need to be using a pan that looks much bigger than what you need so that you can avoid what happened to me.  Lucky for you, I am here to tell you about my massive fail so that you can learn from my stupidity.

It started out fine.  The sugar was at a slow bubble as the recipe told me to do.  Then as it got hotter, it foamed up and started overflowing from my pot.  I stared at it for a minute, mildly annoyed until it occurred to me that this was not hot water I was watching pool at the bottom of my electric stove’s drip pan.  It was molten sugar and I had better freaking do something about it!  So I yelled a few obscenities, lowered the heat and let the sugar mixture get to it’s intended temperature before mixing it with the other ingredients and setting it aside to harden.  I looked at the metal heating coil on my stove coated in a thick layer of molten sugar.  The drip pan below was positively filled with the stuff.  There was no way I was going to be able to clean it any time soon..so I did what I have done a million other times when I get goop on my heating coil.  I turned that sucker up to high to let it burn off.  That was going great until the mess in the drip pan got overheated and burst into flames.  Tall flames.  You read that right, I caught my freaking stove on fire.  I hopped from one foot to the other screaming, “OH SHIT!” looking anxiously at my handy dandy kitchen fire extinguisher wondering if I should use it or not.  Then the little voice in my head that has kept my butt in one piece so far screamed at me, “TURN THE HEAT OFF, STUPID!”  I listened and the flames died down and the mess in the drip pan that was once molten sugar was now a pile of burnt sugar ash.  No real damage was done and I was left slightly shaken, but ok.

The bad thing is, the fudge that I was making was a beloved recipe from my grandmother.  Peanut Butter Candy it’s called.  Although the candy itself turned out great and I ate my first bite of the stuff with relish, I will always remember it being my first foray into candy-making….and I almost burned my house down doing it.  Here’s the recipe.

Peanut Butter Candy

My Grandma Ross

4-1/2 cups white sugar

1 stick butter

1 can evaporated milk

Boil to soft ball stage.

Mix the following:

1 cup peanut butter

2 tsp. vanilla

1 (13 oz.) jar marshmallow creme

Do not heat.  Pour into 9X13 inch pan.  Set aside to harden.

It’s easy and it’s the BEST peanut butter fudge ever.  I’m not biased there.  Ok, well maybe a little.

The third fudge that I tried was the fudge recipe provided to me on the back of a jar of marshmallow fluff.  I’m not going to share a recipe.  I messed it up and the mistake was a STUPID mistake.

Being a bit gun shy from my first attempt at candy making, I decided to play it safe and use an enormous pan to melt the sugar this time.  Well, the pan has a very wide bottom so there was a lot of direct heat contact with the sugar.  In hindsight I know now that I should have lessened the cooking time…and maybe used the damned candy thermometer.  I know that in hindsight.  What happened was I cooked the sugar too long, and when I added the chocolate to it, the sugar seized up and turned rock hard on me.  It got thrown in the garbage with a fare thee well and my middle finger waving it goodbye.

At least after all of that I DID manage to get some actual fudge from the experience.

This just goes to show you that we all make mistakes.  And sometimes they are massively huge mistakes that are embarrassing and stupid.  This is my gift to you.

Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Triple Chocolate Ice Cream
2. Chocolate Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Icing
3. Banana Pancakes Smothered in Peanut Butter

Cooking and baking for people all around is a generous and sweet gesture, particularly for people who have experienced life-changing events.  Someone you know just had a baby?  Make them a big pan of lasagna (or any other large dish that freezes beautifully and makes great leftovers) and hand deliver it with a teddy bear.  A friend just lost family member?  Cake and a HUGE pot of spaghetti.  In times like that, the last thing a person wants to do is think about what to make for dinner.

Having friends feed you and take care of you in an inadvertently nurturing way is a great thing.  It might not be appreciated much during the moment, (and that’s OK) but these people will look back on this and remember that you are there for them.  And that’s what everybody wants a good friend to know, right?  We’re here for them to the best of our abilities…even in times where the circumstances are a little hard for us to relate to and a little awkward to talk about.  Make them some food.

One of my recent favorite food gifts was to a friend who is experiencing a bit of a dry spell in the love department.  To show my sympathy for such an atrocious state of being, I mailed her a box of rich chocolate cupcakes.  I sent her a card with the cupcakes expressing my regret at her becoming “persona non nookie” of her town.  We started joking and the cupcakes slowly started being called the non nookie cupcakes.  I love this.  When we think of sending sympathy gifts, our minds immediately turn to death in the family and such.  Why not send a non nookie food gift?  It’s my invention people and it’s a terrific idea!  I should look into nailing down a day on the calendar and calling it Sympathy for All Persons Suffering Non Nookie Day or SAPSNN Day.  Ok, it needs work, but there aren’t many people out there who can’t say that at some time or another the lack of physical love would be nice to forget in a box of gooey chocolate baked goods.

A picture of the very first non nookie cupcake.  Picture courtesy of the persona non nookie to whom they were gifted.

Don’t be afraid to mail baked goods to far-away friends.  Here is a great how-to article on packaging and mailing a cake, but it would work equally well with cupcakes, pies, or cookies.  And also, I personally never get anything interesting in the mail.  A box of cookies would be a great break-up in the horrific routine of fliers and ads for car dealerships.  If you want to mail something other than baked goods, I’d either forget about that idea or get some dry ice and send that stuff in a deep freeze.

We all eat.  Most of us enjoy eating.  It’s better than sending a basket of soaps.

No related posts.

‘Twas not always so, amigos.  In the past, when you ate a salad, it was an iceberg salad with bottled dressing.  Hamburger was the most used meat in most houses.  If you mentioned the word “organic” to the average person, they would ask what the hell you were talking about.  And taking pretty pictures of the food you just prepared?  Never done.  Then, the food revolution started in the late 90s and early millennium and people started taking a bit more notice of the beautiful subtleties of food and the way it can be prepared and served.  Now when you eat salad, it could mean any sort of mixture of leafy greens with any number of homemade dressings and vinaigrettes  and chicken breasts have replaced hamburger in meal-wide prominence.

Yet, for many of us, back when this revolution started, we were only able to watch from the sidelines.  While people were going on and on about homemade gourmet, there were those of us whose budgets prevented us from even dreaming of having steak more than once a year.  We watched Food Network on our televisions, drooling over the food being prepared all the while glaring at our warmed up bowl of canned soup.  It was the best of times, but for some of us, it plain sucked.

Then Starvin’ With Louis came along.  In about 2005, a web show featuring an average guy making interesting meals out of cheap ingredients (RAMEN NOODLES, PEOPLE) blew up on the internet.  I was there from the beginning.  I watched every episode.  It was funny.  It was gritty.  It was some big dude making food and feeding it to his roommates who acted like they’d lost a dare by having to eat the food.  In the end, though, the food was enjoyed by the guinea pigs and Louis, the cook, was hailed as a culinary genius to the budget-strapped masses.

I loved it.  Loved every single episode.  I still do.  Every few months I dig up some of the episodes and watch them and get a good giggle.  Yes, I still watch.  Do you know what sucks about that?  Nobody else seems to be shooting any love at this gang of Boston film makers.  No sponsors.  No fans (I’m one of only 18 followers on their Twitter page, which never tweets).  Their videos are all up on YouTube, but are hard to find in any sort of organized way and the loading of each video can be sketchy.  They have a now defunct blog, and sometimes one of the crew members has a webpage with all of the videos and more information…but those get shut down all the freaking time.  There’s never a reliable and constant source anymore…and I can’t understand that.  This show was featured as one of the 10 Best Podcasts in 2005 by Wired Magazine.  How is this allowed to happen?  Do you have any idea how big it is to be recognized by Wired Magazine??

It is my understanding that things just sort of lost steam with the show.  Ideas were running thin, data was lost, sponsorship was not consistent, and these guys had to pay the bills.  I understand.  But why the lack of archives?  Why the lack of fans?  Why not make one episode a year just to make sure people remember?  We need someone like Louis again!  We need someone to remind us that these terrible ingredients can be used in more imaginative ways and that drinking beer while cooking is a good thing!

This post is sort of my half-assed attempt to plead with Louis Scheele and Mike Pecci to please show that little web show a little bit of love.  If hosting is a problem, CONTACT ME and maybe I can help you (seriously, my husband works in this field and he knows his stuff!).  Time and money can’t be so constraining that you can’t at least throw up the old videos in a place better than effing YouTube.  Ramen and hotdogs are still cheap!  Generic SPAM is still cheap!  Asian chili sauce will still make your roommates twist in agony!

Here is the very first episode of the show.  It’s a classic.

Part 1

Part 2

Since I am putting this post on the internet, I thought it appropriate to really show my fandom but actually MAKING a Lou dish.  Up until this weekend, I’ve only watched the shows and had never made a recipe.

I made Ramen Hotdog Chop Suey.  My husband and I stared into the wok while I was making it, always keeping in mind that we could always have PB&J if this didn’t work out.  But as the dish came to a finish (it didn’t take long at all to make) it started smelling really good.  I served it up and took my first bite.

“Holy crap,” I said.  “It’s kinda good!”

And it was.  It’s not gourmet and I don’t think I’d pay to eat it in a restaurant, but it was still pretty good!  Of course I didn’t use Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (see previous post about crappy beer.  I used Yuengling), and I used a better quality hotdog simply because those are what I always have in the house, but it was a very neat and tasty dish.

I strongly urge you to check these episodes out for yourself.  I might do a few more posts to show that I am a Starvin’ With Louis fangirl.  And to keep your attention on the subject.

Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Celebrity Foodies/Chefs

I, myself, have been a fan of the Food Network since I was a teenager.  It used to be that I would watch simply because I loved to watch people cook.  My first favorite show on food network was The Two Fat Ladies.  This is an old school Food Network show that hasn’t been on the air for years now, but I adored these two British ladies and their quirky personalities as well as the succulent dishes they prepared.  I also loved how they traveled in a motorcycle and side car.  They were awesome.

Also, in the old days, I used to watch Emeril before he got really really huge on TV and got all annoying with his catch phrases.  I’d like to meet that guy in a completely mellow environment.  I bet he’s cool.  He reminds me a little of my grandfather.  I bet he’s a little crass, but a great guy all the same.  My mother and step-father worship the man’s cooking, and my mother is probably one of the most infuriatingly picky eaters ever, so that says a lot.

Rachel Ray….I hesitate to talk about her.  I’m not a fan, ok?  To be fair, I can understand why she is a celebrity cook.  She has a gimmick that is a great idea for weeknight meals.  She also seems to have a fantastic work ethic, which is needed in her business to achieve notoriety.  She’s like nails on a chalkboard, though.  Her personality is so abrasive and overboard, and I realize that might be part of why she is so famous, but I can’t sit and watch one of her shows all the way through.  One thing I will say about her, though, she actually looks like she eats the food she is hocking on her show.  Some of these celebrity chef-ladies are rail thin but are trying to sell you recipes of cakes, cookies, pies, cocktails, and other fattening dishes and it really bothers me because you can exercise all you want and you won’t get THAT thin by eating those kinds of foods.  Not even a little bit.

Alton Brown:  I love to watch his show.  There is pure entertainment going on in that show.  There’s also a lot of learning to do on that show.  HOWEVER, sometimes I find myself shouting at my television because Brown’s anal retentive tendencies go too far.  Last night, for instance, he was doing a show on French toast.  I make French toast for my family nearly every weekend.  I have been doing so for about 5 years.  I KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRENCH TOAST.  And you know what?  It’s not this horrible, long, drawn out process that requires me to be in my kitchen half the morning.  Still, I love his show.  I love the man.  What can I say, I’ve got love for nerds.

Ina Garten:  Her recipes are my favorite on the network.  Her style and her tastes are right in line with my own and I really just love her.  Because she is so laid back and proper, her show can be a little boring, but watching her prepare all of those beautiful dishes is almost worth the loss of a half hour from my life.

Paula Dean:  She’s DEEP Southern.  I’m BARELY Southern.  Her food is way too rich for my blood and her personality is too loud for me.  Look, I’m sure she’s a peach and a delight to be around, but I’ve known her type before.  Here’s a tip: the next time she prepares a recipe on her show sent in by a fan, listen for the little jab she always includes.  There’s never 100% priase coming from her, she always makes one little comment that implies that if she had created this recipe it would have been different and therefore better.

Bobby Flay:  He’s an Iron Chef and he’s super duper rich.  Why?  The guy consistently uses the same 10 ingredients!  Every chicken, meat, seafood, and pasta dish all have the same ingredients.  I like his show Throwdown because he’s a good sport, but seriously.  Branch out, dude!

Giada De Laurentiis:  She’s very pretty and I’ve enjoyed a few of her Grandfather’s productions.  I can’t honestly say anything bad about her.  I feel bad that she was kind of strong-armed into making nothing but Italian food.  After so many seasons, there are really only so many dishes you can make before it starts getting weird.  Her food is always pretty, and while some of them turn me off (for my personal taste), I really think she has a good thing going on.

Sandra Lee:  Some of her dishes are AWESOME.  Seriously, she’s got a good thing going on.  But, she’s one of those super skinny ladies I was talking about before.  There’s no way that she eats the stuff she prepares.  She sits in the kitchen and drinks cocktails all day…she has to!  But she’s got a nice personality, she’s attractive, and she’s got a great and marketable gimmick.

If I left out any of the other famous Food Network people, it is because they all sort of start to look the same if you step back far enough.  Food Network likes a lineup of wholesome, mostly white, gimmicky, older cooks.  It works for them and at the end of the day they are still a television network that has to make money.  I’d like to see more Latin cooks, and more African American (I like the Neely’s) cooks rocking the scene.  If we’re to explore the foodie scene and Food Network wants to be one of our guides, we need a little more culture going on!

Now, I can’t mention celebrity chefs without talking about Anthony Bourdain.  I’ve watched him since the beginning.  I watched his show “A Cook’s Tour” on Food Network all those years ago.  When he moved to the Travel Channel, at first I watched him every week for quite a few seasons.  After watching him for so long, I think that it is inaccurate to refer to him as a celebrity “chef.”  Yes, he was a chef and he has earned that title, but he is not really a celebrity for being a chef.  If anything, he is a celebrity FOODIE.  The man is actually foodie royalty.  A chef?  Not so much.  If you’ve ever watched his show, you’ll notice that people who have worked with him in the past take great pleasure in ripping on his cooking skills.  There was an episode where he went to Tuscany and horrified the locals with his cooking.  Let’s not insult the real celebrity chefs and put Bourdain where he belongs.  He’s a foodie.  And he’s a fantastic foodie from whom we have much to learn.  Eating for him is not so much a necessity as it is a pleasure.  He has no fear of strange foods, he relishes in the possibilities of trying new things, and he makes his eating a full-on sensory experience.  His personality stinks a little bit, he’s a snob to other American regions, and he won’t let go of his über-fandom of the Ramones.  In his niche, that doesn’t matter.  He’s a writer, world traveller, and foodie.  He’s famous for these things.

Andrew Zimmern is the guy who would take the dare to eat the yellow snow cone when he was a kid.  I like his show.  I’ve hidden my face behind my throw pillow more than once during his show so as not to watch him eat something horrifying (such as raw camel meat).  He also eats semi-normal things that I would like to try.  He has a great personality and he rocks the bald guy look.  He, too, is not really a celebrity for being a chef.  He’s a food critic and, again, the guy who will stick anything in his face hole.  What’s not to like about that?  He’s our generations version of Mikey (don’t get that joke?  He was the kid who would eat anything in the Life Cereal commercial and who apparently died eating pop rocks and soda..which of course was an urban legend).

I think that perhaps there is a little too much emphasis being put on these people on television.  I think that perhaps they are being placed high on pedestals that needn’t be there at all.  As foodies, home cooks, chefs, caterers, and curious neophytes, we all have the right to be level with these people.  Don’t be so quick to make idols of someone simply because they are on your television.  You have a kitchen, be it a hot plate and a microwave or a tricked out $80,000 kitchen that you never use, and you are just as capable of creating culinary gold as any of these people on the television.  Learn a little from them, if you like, but see them as a possibility of your future self.

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